Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I want her autograph on my taint
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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