also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Holy sore nipples Batman
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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