Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
