that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
