Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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