Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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