We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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