you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
