I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Randomize
