I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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