His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
