4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i think my tv is drunk
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
