You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
