I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
