Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
