so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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