yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
