I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize