when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
