Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I'm really busy with my period
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