Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize