i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
