you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
