I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
