Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
