I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
