More tranny stories later!
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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