do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
