i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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