i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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