isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
