I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
What drink are we having for lunch?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I would fuck him just for his dog
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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