no, he came in my armpit
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
