just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
