Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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