i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
