Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
