Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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