im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
