She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
