you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize