Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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