Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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