Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
