College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
