how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
