Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you will always have a special place in my vag
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
