I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
