I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Ladies don't puke and tell
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
