Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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