I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
