Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
