We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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