what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
did i just pee glitter
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize