Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
