In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
