i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
