oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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