remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
