hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
