I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
